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Twa Q. writes not always about her though.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

7:56PM - I'll Repay

Depressed. Despaired. Broken. You came calm and anointing dragged me from the places you could not be found, why did I choose to dwell so long away from you?

Ill repay with my praise. Ill repay with my faith. Lord I want to share the joy you gave to me.
Ill repay with my acts. Ill testify on your behalf.

Falling. Crying. Hurting. You came calm and anointing. Saying child I can set you free I'm the only answer lean on me

Ill repay with my praise. Ill repay with my faith. Lord I want to share the joy you gave to me.
Ill repay with my acts. Ill testify on your behalf.

I just want to thank you Lord for saving me
I just want to thank you Lord for keeping me
I just want to thank you Lord for holding me
I just want to Thank you Lord for lifting me
I just want to thank you Lord for dragging me(up out my mess)
I just want to thank you Lord for pressing me (to be my best)

Your Agape love is true.

Ill repay with my praise. Ill repay with my faith. Lord I want to share the joy you gave to me.
Ill repay with my acts. Ill testify on your behalf.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

8:43AM - her brain


Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

6:35PM

Dear Lord, forgive us of our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us. Thank you for life. Thank you for providing our needs. Thank you for not abandoning us when we often abandon you. Thank you Lord for allowing the lessons we learn to bring us closer to our purpose. Thank you for covering me, and allowing us to cover each other. Thank you for my gifts, teach me to not abuse them. In a gentle way Lord, teach me, I accept your breaking, though at times I feel it too much. I know that you wont put on me more than I can handle. Lord Thank you for examples of how we should love, how we should live, how we should die. Thank you for not expecting perfection from me, from us, help us to not expect perfection from others. Lord allow your spirit to come to us when needed. thank you for these things I pray. I love you, amen

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

3:33PM


Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

6:59AM - open heart just for you/ headache and heart break

you shouldn't want another lover
shouldn't need another hands on your body baby
cause these hands my hands love you

you should only want me
cause i only want you
oooh baby please make me your only lover

what do i have to do
what do i have to say
what do i have to prove
for you to see, that i have an open heart just for you
so baby what do i have to do

we should be kissing down each others bodies baby

what do i need to bring for you to be just with me
I can't give you everything
but i'll give you my all
pick you up in times when you stumble and you fall
ooh ooh ooh oh ooooooh this is all i can do, an open heart just for you

oh baby, baby, hear me crying...................

Im crying each day headache and heart break, I dont want you any longer
Dont have much to say, then your answers always NO
i just need more than that to remain your lover
your hurting me so, you dont even care
and its killing me
being your lover

5:51AM - the way it should be

baby, there's not too much more to say
we gotta go our seperate ways
cause it ain't working out
ok
ok, accept this
accept this thing

baby, im gonna cry the moment you walk out the door
even though i know i dont want you anymore
its gonna hurt to see you go
its gonna hurt to see you go

But i wish you.....
all the best of love
all the things you want
all the love you need
all the happiness this world can offer

too bad you couldn't get it from me
too bad i couldn't get it from you too baby

I hope for you, all i hope for me
and thats how it should be
it doesn't have to be "haterism"
in the end
in the end

5:31AM - a table supports them....tangent... not officially done

Two people sit across from each other. The first was happy enough but never fully relaxed. The second relaxed but only happy when safe, balanced and content. Together they found themselves complementary but the experiences before them kept their hearts from blooming and their fire ashy.

In a perfect world they would be lovers. They would bask in hues of gold and white, bath in springs with lavender fields in view. Actions would always be clear and answers never threatening . This being not perfection caused the need for elusion to happen into hearts.

The first believed in love, wanted to rest there but found that whenever it presented itself it was hard to give to it. Sure, ideally this is so enjoyable but to let another know me so intimately can only bring torture for myself in the end right? So the first gave enough but often pulled back much to dismay of the second.

This soul, the second, found that love was necessary in a emotional and mental way. Would go to it, leave it, like it, hate it, stay close to it and ask it to love back. The second found that when loved stayed close all things where right and days could be lived because we had each other. When the distance grew this second soul would withdraw and the first would sense withdrawal believing love had left and pace to runaway.

These events left stains. Each one wanted the same goal, the process is what grieved them. Both found words a joy but could not find words to tell each other the true intent of themselves. could not sure the true depths of the moment because moments pass.

The table they sat at was more defined then they. in definition of steadfast, unshakeable. The table bore great weight supporting them leaning and stretching. Their searching was felt by the table. Love, lust, wanting, is so confusing so complex, you can see something that no one else sees like you do, feel things and find you are the only one feeling it, view things and feel conflicted that your view is not matched, it is breaking and too much. If one focuses just on these things it will drive you mad and insecure and lost. in the losing of self you withdraw and want no one to enter you, until next time. then you do it all over again. This too much is breaking. the table is still supporting though.

Deepness is a level that can only be in glimpses if there for longer than a glimpse one will surely break. no matter what the topic of the deepness is. love is the most breaking of them all.

bounce back , ignore, put aside, get it together, leave broken, start over, wait, try not to get too deep next time, change focus, not deal with, on and on

compromise,forgive, communicate, allow, bend, open to, grasp, walk towards, accept, look forward to, why is this grouping harder of words harder to translate into action.

Neither one expected the other not to have friends, spend time with them. Neither wanted to stay home all the time or be out everyday. Both understood individual path and personal growth.
Both desired a solid foundation to build from. Both were willing to compromise but not all of themselves, which honestly neither should have to do anyway.

These two had won a battle in their personal backgrounds. Both had grew into themselves earlier than most and then redefined at stages. it was the earlier of these that most likely cause the friction they sometimes feel with one another. They both knew this was true and at times pardoned the other because they themselves would come up short. This can take a toll also, The compromising, the forgiving ,harder to translate into action remember and even harder to justify when personal needs are not being met. what would happen if all was abandoned, would they feel any less for each other, would they not long for each other still and wish no ill feelings were left between them?

These questions, and much debate at this table between the two. No conclusive answers either, moments pass, views pass, selves change so answers change, the only thing not changing is somewhere under all the levels is something that keeps them to each other. if that could be explained and analyzed and bottled even... love would be easier. until then tables are more defined.

5:25AM - all in one moment

no prince on white horse down on bended knee
no pretty white dress or bridemaids for me
my fairytale wishes are torn to shreds
you've ripped out my heart and left me for dead.

all in a moment
all in one moment
everything changed
all in one moment ooh i thought you were the one
all in one moment everything we worked towards gone

Now i lie awake cant get sleep at night
brainstorming ways to make us right
was this all for nothing, living lies
wishing all could be fixed with a lullaby

all in a moment
all in one moment
everything changed
all in one moment ooh i thought you were the one
all in one moment everything we worked towards gone

Saturday, May 22, 2010

3:57PM - this heart

this heart of mine, scarred but mended, is done pretending its fine.
it thumps
slower
it beats
irregular
as it grows older
no longer desires, games of manipulation played.

this heart of mine, remains open, after years of destruction from human nature.
it broke
slowly
it cried
its self to sleep
when it got lonely
it didn't hold the present to the past for the futures sake.

this heart leans back
that doesn't mean that its relaxed
this heart checks out
but it dont need a bi pass
this heart was walking towards
but Now, away from you

this heart a fool but a wild card too

Saturday, May 8, 2010

7:40PM - reflection on may eigth

You helped me become the lover i am to her.
If only i'd known how to be the same to you, then.
It is funny in hindsight to see all the ways you were right on my ways and life
So, Right On!! to you.

I hope joy,happiness,peace,celebration,LOVE,
all dreams realized to you.
Your a good woman and she is a good one too for you
sorry i wasn't.

Today my lady said "i can't believe i found a gift like you, near perfect in every circumstance.
I wondered, if she knew me then would she feel that now?
I see improved in me, this path most definitely life long
I'm relaxed traveling up and down its course.

I hope joy,happiness,peace,celebration LOVE to me
All my dreams realized in due time to me

The value of experience
The power to admit failure and grow on
The wisdom of a new day will make you stronger
The courage to forgive and ask forgiveness
The love it takes to open a closed door
I wish all these things and more to paths across the world.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

12:17AM - goodbye it hurts

walk around in silence
retire to bed alone
can no longer hide that our feelings are tearing us apart
"what's wrong" i say
your reply "its me baby nothing you've done"
what you don't see is that its us your affecting honey

It hurts to think your not my happy ever after
it hurts to feel that you dont care enough to try so goodbye
goodbye


standing in the bathroom
mirror showing all my pain
searching for the strength now to tell you we must go seperate ways
"whats wrong" you say
my reply "just tired, lost in my thoughts"
what you dont see is that I'm one step from leaving baby

Its hurts to think your not my happy ever after
it hurts to feel that you dont care enough to try so goodbye
goodbye

I do love you, want you
Can we just figure this out cause i cant stand it

it hurts to think your not my happy ever after
it hurts to feel that you dont care enough to try

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

8:20PM - sessions(look for the mood change)

you scratching down my back feels fine
I love it when you lose control
then we flip it and I lose my mind
you love that I let it go

ooooh these sessions
fulfill a part of me
playing out fantasies
now its reality
ooh ooh
me and you


sweat glistens off the skin I watch
trace tattoos when im touching you
my neck feels pressure woman
gripping my head that tight....

you getting right
go on

biting inside my thigh
behind my knees
that tickles boo
deep breaths then i close my eyes
just absorbing you....

and you me
go on

mmm nasty

these sessions
fulfill a part of me
playing out fantasies
now its reality
ooh ooh
me and you

face to face
lips to lips
eletric finger tips
no where to go
except inside

moving cavern deep
sliding slow
anchoring waves

chests pounding
eyes dripping
toes twitching
drifting

Saturday, July 5, 2008

7:23PM - what happy new parents might feel:

I am excited to meet you. I'm glad you are arriving. I am honored you will look to me to help you in your life.
I do not take the responsibility of you lightly. I value that your slate is clean and will try my hardest to only bring good things into your world.

I understand that you will emulate me at first. I will live my life to my best ability so the example you see will allow you to go further than I have gone. I will not kill your dreams. I will understand you as an individual and allow you to determine your path.

I will shower you with hope so you may have it. I will treat you with respect so you may show it to others. I will show you, life is more than you and your family. We are all intertwined, so you will hold your life equal to those around you and know everyone deserves understanding and justice. I will show you how to fight for justice.

I will love you unconditionally. I will listen with an open heart and mind when you come to me. I want you to never worry if I love you because I do. I will honor that my house is your first view of what a home should be. I want you to feel comfortable within our walls and view it as a safe place.

I have so much more to say and share I can’t wait until you are born.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

11:57PM - rewind that back part 2

why you always take things to the fullest of extremes
your not the only one questioning things
I was feeling you but we were moving to fast
Now that we're in the slow lane
all YOU miss is ass

I'm still calling you, so you must be on my mind
We got our differences i'm trying to take my time
Quite acting so simple
and we will be just fine

You might need to rewind that back boo.

Why can't we take it day by day
date, long for, fall
It could be years before our tree blooms at all

Right now baby, we still at the roots
and i got other things rooting too.

Don't get me wrong or get me confused
i'm focused on my goals and you should be so too

Relax ok sit back enjoy the ride
every time I'm distant doesn't mean i run and hide

Do you need to rewind that back

Don't ever think i don't value what you bring, may bring or have brought but know i move at my speed and not yours

Show me you can hear me and not lose a grip when you don't get your way.

rewind that back

2:13PM - rewind it back

why am i feeling you ain't really feeling me
you ain't said nothing
silence ain't no remedy
maybe you hoping i will fade to black
just say that woman
and no rewinding back

I want to hear you say whats on your mind and who your talking to late nights
i want to feel like you value that i am on your side
I want to know that i am not alone
is it hard to show

Why am i feeling you have shut me out
this all cant be me and my self doubt
why do enough just to keep me holding on
I guess your niceness wont let you say get gone

I want to hear you say whats on your mind and who your talking to late nights ( it aint me baby)
i want to feel like you value that i am on your side
I want to know that i am not alone
is it that hard to show

i forgot that we were friends
i let you touch my body
you did so right now i'm gone
so gone
to early to let you leave me all exposed
no rewinding back

gotta keep that protected from now on
rewind it back

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

10:35PM - a tangent, just me rambling not officially done either

Two people sit across from each other. The first was happy enough but never fully relaxed. The second relaxed but only happy when safe, balanced and content. Together they found themselves complementary but the experiences before them kept their hearts from blooming and their fire ashy.

In a perfect world they would be lovers. They would bask in hues of gold and white, bath in springs with lavender fields in view. Actions would always be clear and answers never threatening . This being not perfection caused the need for elusion to happen into hearts.

The first believed in love, wanted to rest there but found that whenever it presented itself it was hard to give to it. Sure, ideally this is so enjoyable but to let another know me so intimately can only bring torture for myself in the end right? So the first gave enough but often pulled back much to dismay of the second.

This soul, the second, found that love was necessary in a emotional and mental way. Would go to it, leave it, like it, hate it, stay close to it and ask it to love back. The second found that when loved stayed close all things where right and days could be lived because we had each other. When the distance grew this second soul would withdraw and the first would sense withdrawal believing love had left and pace to runaway.

These events left stains. Each one wanted the same goal, the process is what grieved them. Both found words a joy but could not find words to tell each other the true intent of themselves. could not sure the true depths of the moment because moments pass.

The table they sat at was more defined then they. in definition of steadfast, unshakeable. The table bore great weight supporting them leaning and stretching. Their searching was felt by the table. Love, lust, wanting, is so confusing so complex, you can see something that no one else sees like you do, feel things and find you are the only one feeling it, view things and feel conflicted that your view is not matched, it is breaking and too much. If one focuses just on these things it will drive you mad and insecure and lost. in the losing of self you withdraw and want no one to enter you, until next time. then you do it all over again. This too much is breaking. the table is still supporting though.

Deepness is a level that can only be in glimpses if there for longer than a glimpse one will surely break. no matter what the topic of the deepness is. love is the most breaking of them all.

bounce back , ignore, put aside, get it together, leave broken, start over, wait, try not to get too deep next time, change focus, not deal with, on and on

compromise,forgive, communicate, allow, bend, open to, grasp, walk towards, accept, look forward to, why is this grouping harder of words harder to translate into action.

Neither one expected the other not to have friends, spend time with them. Neither wanted to stay home all the time or be out everyday. Both understood individual path and personal growth.
Both desired a solid foundation to build from. Both were willing to compromise but not all of themselves, which honestly neither should have to do anyway.

These two had won a battle in their personal backgrounds. Both had grew into themselves earlier than most and then redefined at stages. it was the earlier of these that most likely cause the friction they sometimes feel with one another. They both knew this was true and at times pardoned the other because they themselves would come up short. This can take a toll also, The compromising, the forgiving ,harder to translate into action remember and even harder to justify when personal needs are not being met. what would happen if all was abandoned, would they feel any less for each other, would they not long for each other still and wish no ill feelings were left between them?

These questions, and much debate at this table between the two. No conclusive answers either, moments pass, views pass, selves change so answers change, the only thing not changing is somewhere under all the levels is something that keeps them to each other. if that could be explained and analyzed and bottled even... love would be easier. until then tables are more defined.

Monday, June 9, 2008

9:30AM - choppy

How do I show I'm still standing here
Abandoning fear and checks made clear

Hand stretching towards you
Grasp me?

I want to be
resting in your heart
Hoping that this space between is a temporary line

Went from fantasizing to criticizing
hearts open to eyes low
waiting for this storm to roll
watching you my ocean ebb and flow

How do i forget the pressure of your kiss
resting on your hips fragrance of you skin

How do I instill that I'm hearing you

hand stretching towards you grasp me?

Sunday, June 8, 2008

9:34PM - a little hot

Drum beats with eyes closed
sweat dripping ripped clothes
We both know how raw it can be

Thick thighs with "boom clats"
Wind chimes, hair swings back
your body is music to me

Heart is the bass
finger popping tempo
voices long to sing
chords of flames from your heart
guitars strum the mood along

Thursday, May 29, 2008

6:09PM - your day

Can you read my mind
I can see you smiling
looking in my eyes
You must know what my heart is thinking

Surprises everywhere
Have you looked under the pillow
Secrets i won't share until you've found every one

Its not your birthday
Its not our anniversary
Valentines is far away
Christmas snow not yet falling

Happy I LOVE you day
I'm happy your cheeks hurt from grinning
Cause in my heart no losses just all winning.

I've gained me
fullness and contentment
i feel overflowing you get showers of attention

Did you try behind the couch
How about next to the window
please leave nothing overturned, i will clean it while your resting

"ooh your done now, baby i don't think so, we're just beginning we have hours more to go"

Are you feeling hungry, cause i've made your favorite meal
Let me feed you first bites, or the entire if you feel

Happy I LOVE you day
I'm happy your cheeks hurt from grinning
Cause in my heart no losses just all winning.

I feel inclined to touch you softly
Lay your body down
hands all over you
Whisper true things in your ear

" I love you chubi, feels great to do these things for you, even if you gave me nothing i would still want to You fill me with desire, you melt away my fears, you accept me always, thank you"

Can you read my mind
I can see you smiling
looking in my eyes
You must know what my heart is thinking

Thursday, May 22, 2008

4:00PM - deep emotions

Today I love you, tomorrow much the same
In some time I gladly give my name
You will feel love Pouring down like rain
its storming baby
saturating every pore you have
cells exploding baby

I feel renewed, awakened even
from slumber lasting years, Been hibernating
now free from my cave
Your a hero, this frustrated heart you saved
What else can be said
ooohhhhhh
what else can be said, without repeating

Today I love you, tomorrow much the same
In some time I gladly give my name
You will feel love Pouring down like rain
its storming baby
saturating every pore you have
cells exploding baby

OOh its so cliched
many a song to express love but OH MY LOVE

When you call me on your way to work
i love that yours is the first voice i hear to start my day
Can't wait to have you be the first face I see

When you call with an issue to discuss and your spirits lifted by the time were done,
so validating knowing you need me cause i know i need you

your laugh, MAMA your laugh...... intoxicating especially when I'm humoring you
Soooo Free this love we share
I could care less what others my say We got each other they don't have to understand
but even they see its love

oooh its so cliched
many a song to express love but OH OUR LOVE

You will feel happiness
you will feel overwhelmed with joy
you will be over stimulated
It will be hard to contain it

We will be each others biggest fan....

Spoken word: when i first meet you the openess was too much i have learned that too much is the greatest thing to happen to me, you are every woman and a natural one too, I love you mama I'm your greatest fan , i promise to come to you first, to not be afraid to humble myself to you, to remain open and to keep myself checked.

You will feel love Pouring down like rain
its storming baby
saturating every pore you have
cells exploding baby

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